To all the hurting Mamas, these things I know for certain: wait on God, trust He’ll work it out, and know that worshipping God changes everything…In His time and His way. I hope all the various types of Mamas and children of all ages have a meaningful, ever-blooming day despite life’s prickles. God sees all and reveals truth. He also is writing your story and planting a garden of hope in you.
The 4 buds featured in this photo symbolize my 4 rose buds (children).
Many forms of captivity may manifest in our lives beckoning our very own exodus. One such form of captivity I personally experienced was domestic and familial violence, that is violence or other forms of abuse committed towards me by a spouse as well as a close family member. Sometimes people who you thought would protect and provide for you choose to oppress you much to your shock and horror. Nevertheless, the story of Joseph’s family oppressing him (in the Bible) reminds me that God can use all circumstances for your good and the benefit of others as well. Later on in Scripture, God hears the cries of the oppressed descendants of Joseph and his family and sends Moses to let God’s people go. Hence, the exodus story. After cultivating my exodus from such “pestilence”, God used gardening to help heal my heart and mind. With a heart full of gratitude towards God for graciously hearing my desperate prayers, I want to use my life to help cultivate growth in others who may still be awaiting an exodus of their own.
Due to these traumatic experiences and wanting to help others still in captivity, I became a certified domestic violence advocate that not only held faith based support groups in my home for victims of domestic violence, but I also went on to found a non-profit that housed pregnant survivors of domestic violence and their children. Although I no longer house hurting women, I find myself still wanting to encourage those who are suffering. Perhaps my garden-themed articles throughout this site will plant seeds of hope and healing to those still in captivity.
Additionally, if you are a loved one of a person currently in a toxic and abusive relationship, it is critical you do the following to best help your loved one:
Ears open. Understand victims of domestic violence are often gaslighted and bombarded with lies and negative comments from their abusers as well as ignorant, insensitive people. How you respond to the victim is a matter of life and death. The best thing you can do for your loved one is simply listen.
Explore and Empower. You cannot fix their situation and you do not know what is best for the victim. They, however, know their circumstance and abuser best. It is important you help them explore all options and think through potential outcomes for better or worse and then empower them to make the best and safest series of decisions for themselves and their specific circumstances. Refrain from making decisions for them or forcing them to take action.
Encourage the victim. Please be patient and encouraging as you listen to the many exhausting emotions, patterns, and variables the victim will experience. Be aware a victim of domestic violence often attempts to leave or indeed ends the relationship only to return on average 7 to 9 times before finally terminating the relationship. It is important you do not say anything negative about the abuser to the victim for she/he will not return to you for advice or help once she/he reconciles with their abuser. Leaving is a process – not an event. Also, be aware when a victim of domestic violence attempts to terminate the relationship, that is when the victim’s life, as well as her children or pets, are most in lethal jeopardy. She cannot “just leave”. By encouraging her to do so, it could be signing her death warrant – particularly if weapons are in the home.
Evolve. Eventually, by planting seeds of love and hope in your loved ones as you implement these methods listed above, in time, the victims will hopefully free themselves from such pestilence or suffocating weeds when they believe it is safe to do so and evolve into overcoming, “ever-blooming roses” despite life’s prickly pain.
“My life is an example to many, because you have been my strength and protection.” Psalm 71:7
Tonight, an opportunity manifested allowing me to prophetically sing over a woman. The woman/new friend just outright asked me to sing to her. Other times, God “highlights” people I am supposed to speak to/sing to. For those of you who haven’t seen this/experienced this, sometimes the Spirit provides the setting and invites me to sing over people needing healing, comfort, or to be set free from something, etc. My part is just be willing to shut off me (my will/my time/my thoughts) to simply allow the Father to use my voice to sing something personal to them (Zephaniah 3:14-17).It’s like a lullaby of love…even correction sometimes wrapped in a loving, soothing song. Or as if God unexpectedly shows up to personally deliver to you a bouquet of His fragrant love. Meanwhile, the woman was crying and later shared with me how the phrases/words in the spontaneous song were the exact verbage God uses when He talks with her. I had no idea. I just met this person a few days ago. After the song is done, I typically have no recollection of the song’s specific wording just maybe one or two words or a theme. It is interesting, but moreover, a blessing to me to be able to help others in that capacity. It’s not all the time, but often enough that I trust Him when He beckons. Ironically, in doing what He invites us to do, we too are healed, set free, delivered from our own issues. That’s why faith with obedience is so important. Just be who God created and wills you to be. Gifts are meant to be given away. #everbloomingroses#obedience#trust#psalmist#prophetic#Godisreal#song